Being caring or being a jerk?

We live in a world that thrives on speed. We've gone from mail to e-mail to texting in a matter of 50 years. It's about receiving an answer now and getting the job done immediately. That leaves little time to stop and think about life, about our actions, about anything, really.

Over the past few months, I've seen my role as one who makes those around me stop and think, to ask questions. I've heard many of my students say that it's so easy to go through their every day life, without having to think about what they did and why they did it. They expect me to challenge them, to question their actions, not out of being nosy or being annoying, but out of sincerity.

The students in my ministry know that I ask questions because I hope they slow down and think. And in doing so, my hope is that they help others to do the same. In some ways, my students expect me to ask the hard questions. Lately, though, I've been wondering whether it can apply to other areas of my life.

Would I seem like I was being annoying if I asked questions or would it seem like I was caring? I find it easy to listen to friends and family about the happenings of their lives, but it takes a lot of guts for me to ask a question. Either I don't agree with what they are saying, so I have to ask a question to get them think, or I have the sense that if I ask a question, I'll come across as super holy and righteous, and thus, judgmental.

As I talk to friends, I realize that they want to respond to what they are being told, but they feel the same way. They are afraid of losing friendships or bringing difficulty into a situation that is already hard. 

What would it look like if we all took the opportunity to ask good questions to our friends and family? What if we saw our questions not as making things harder, but actually bringing to light what already is present but currently in darkness?