I've been in situations over the past week where I've had to actively pursue conflict or speaking truth. And let me tell you, it is hard and I want to avoid it at all costs. I want to ignore sin, hurt, and brokenness, but God is showing me that it is too big to just shove into a closet and deal with later.
Instead, He's been gently asking me whether I want to have instant gratification, pretend everything is fine, and then have the issue manifest itself in a greater way, or whether I want to deal with the situation now, deal with the awkwardness, breaking of trust, and conflict, but see reconciliation and healing come after a period of hard work.
Before, I would choose the first option. These days, though, I would rather pick the second one, even though it takes me some time and some prompting from my friends to pick it. I just don't want to deal with conflict and all the consequences it brings: having to communicate more, knowing the other person may be mad at me, and being careful of how I portray myself.
Yet, God is reminding me that settling for mediocrity and semi-wholeness just doesn't cut it. In ignoring the issue, that's exactly what I'm doing. In pursuing conflict and reconciliation, I'm choosing holiness and complete healing, the Kingdom way.
I'm praying for patience and love as I do this and complete wisdom, because I really don't know what I'm doing. I just know that it's needed and that it's good.
Instead, He's been gently asking me whether I want to have instant gratification, pretend everything is fine, and then have the issue manifest itself in a greater way, or whether I want to deal with the situation now, deal with the awkwardness, breaking of trust, and conflict, but see reconciliation and healing come after a period of hard work.
Before, I would choose the first option. These days, though, I would rather pick the second one, even though it takes me some time and some prompting from my friends to pick it. I just don't want to deal with conflict and all the consequences it brings: having to communicate more, knowing the other person may be mad at me, and being careful of how I portray myself.
Yet, God is reminding me that settling for mediocrity and semi-wholeness just doesn't cut it. In ignoring the issue, that's exactly what I'm doing. In pursuing conflict and reconciliation, I'm choosing holiness and complete healing, the Kingdom way.
I'm praying for patience and love as I do this and complete wisdom, because I really don't know what I'm doing. I just know that it's needed and that it's good.
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